Actions speak louder than words.

This week got a little eventful around Thursday. My kids got grounded for not doing their chores, again.  My son took it well. My daughter wouldn't so much as look at me. Even the next day!

I had brought her to work with me Friday to be picked up by a friend of mine. My son was at a friends house since it was already set up in advanced and I didn't want to punish the other child.  Anyways, from the parking garage to my building she walked at least 10 feet ahead of me. Did not say a word to me as she sat in my cubicle. When my friend called for me to meet her downstairs my daughter went straight to the elevator. I got stopped by my boss on the way briefly and got to the elevator just as the door started to close. She was going to leave me!

I forced her to give me a hug when she left, and told her I loved her and to have a great day. She didn't utter a word. She didn't even mumble a half hearted "love you too". I was crushed! This ruined my whole day.  She text me later on about getting money I had promised her earlier in the week, and stopping at a store on the way couldn't even speak with me this morning and she's asking me for stuff? The nerve!

So, I thought maybe she got over it a little. Nope! When I picked her up, she dropped her phone in my purse (I let her have it so that she could contact me in an emergency since where she was didn't have a land line) and continued with the silent treatment. Everything she did was done in attitude, getting keys to go in the car, sitting, even breathing was all done in content. Or at least felt like it. She wouldn't look at me or speak to me more than she needed to.

Well, now it's Saturday afternoon, she is talking to me again, and acting more normal. I stuck to my guns. They have earned time on the things they are grounded from, and they seem to be understanding that if they do what I ask and do it well, they get to have privileges at least for a little while.

This didn't just happen. I had a talk with them this morning and explained to them that they are not entitled to play video games, watch TV, and have a cell phone. These are things we give them because we love them.  My bare minimum job is feed, clothe, and shelter. I don't have to give them an allowance, or buy them the newest toy or device.  I explained to them that when I ask them to do something and they ignore it or do a "half-ass" job, that it was very disrespectful. It's giving me the big middle finger in a sense. "Mom we acknowledged you told us to clean the family room, and we said OK. However, we aren't going to do it. We don't have to and you can't make us. We are going to spend our time doing what we want. So here's the big fat "F" you and your rules. By the way can you pick up some ice cream on your way home?" Of course they do not say this, their actions tells me and surely they do not think they are doing it out of defiance. However, actions speak louder than words.

It's a hard lesson. They weren't meaning to be rude or cruel to me by not obeying the house rules about chores, but it had been making me feel really bad lately about what they thought of me. That my husband and I work our butts off to more than provide for them and they are so ungrateful for it and were refusing to pitch in the way that a family unit should.

There's an old saying that "Actions speak louder than words." It is very true in every type of relationship there is. Husband and wife. Parent and child. Keep that thought with you in your relationships. Show someone you care about them, show them they are important. A little goes a long way.

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